Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
