My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
