At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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