We're like a lot better than the average bears
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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