i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
