Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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