just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
