I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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