I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
