How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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