is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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