I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
