And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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