ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
