I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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