Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize