I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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