he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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