mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
