no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My dick has a subreddit
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
