areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
