There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize