He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
