i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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