It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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