I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize