worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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