Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
