I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
