Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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