I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize