tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
