i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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