he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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