Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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