then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
