Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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