Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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