You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
