You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
