I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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