Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
