well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
