he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
