Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
