Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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