Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
