god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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