I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
