i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
