Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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