I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
