that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
