Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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