If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
