I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
