I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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