i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
