It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
