Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there's paper in my vomit.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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