from now on my penis is your penis
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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